just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
