Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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