Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
