So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
People in love make me want to vomit
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
tell me about the fingering
Randomize