I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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