I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
