okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
