Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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