Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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