my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
