dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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