You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
