Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
ugly people sure do ruin things
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
