He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize