is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
