Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize