Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
