dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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