Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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