fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
