we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
