Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
