My first STD was from a foam party
it's like iHOP with fire
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
