that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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