please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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