just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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