I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
time to smoke my breakfast
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think I sprained my soul last night
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
