I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
