From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
