forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
