tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
