12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
