ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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