i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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