Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize