is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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