Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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