What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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