I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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