I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
