Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
