why didn't you poke me back
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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