drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
