Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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