her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
