As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
