i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize