there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Drake has all the answers
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
