About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
