Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Randomize