YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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