Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
