so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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