47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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