I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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