You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
home. puking in laundry basket.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
