He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
