Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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