I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
