You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just found puke in my bra..
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize