you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
