puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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