I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
not ubering you a puppy
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
