i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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