he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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