How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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