Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
