My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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